My first riders don’t die, though, because they’re not human. I have, I realise after connecting up the final piece of track, inadvertently built a version of the theoretical Euthanasia Coaster - the attraction designed specifically to kill its riders. With the infinite money open to me in Planet Coaster’s sandbox mode, I settle on a design: a slow climb to the top of a horrible mountain, before a sheer plunge down 20 storeys provides the speed to make it through five loop-the-loops, each sharply veering left, then right, then back again. Frontier’s game - the spiritual successor to the glorious Rollercoaster Tycoon series - lets players construct their own coasters, noodling on every twist, turn, and terrifying drop to squeeze the most vomit out of its riders. Planet Coaster is largely accommodating of these dark urges. I want to make something so fast, so rickety, and so nauseating that its riders feel as uneasy as I do when I think about the Red Hot Chili Peppers song Love Rollercoaster. Unlike the Red Hot Chili Peppers, though, I don’t want to make a Rollercoaster of Love. “Your love is like a rollercoaster baby, baby I wanna ride,” the Red Hot Chili Peppers famously sang on their awful song Love Rollercoaster.
Update Night is a fortnightly column in which Rich McCormick revisits games to find out whether they've been changed for better or worse.
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